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We developed nicknames for bad flip jobs after viewing so many:

“Spray Foam Specials” - gobs of sprayfoam insulation and a fresh coat of paint.

“Gap Properties” - because who needs floorboards to actually meet?

“Skatepark Schemes” - for when the floors are so bowed you can do lip tricks at the room edges

“Flashpoint Fixers” - surface-level flip jobs that kept the knob-and-tube wiring alongside newer Romex

“Oil Derricks” - any home with an oil tank on a foundation of compacted earth or otherwise lacking a groundwater barrier



I wish I could set up a filter in Zillow that automatically excluded homes that have gray engineered flooring, which flippers seem to love for some reason.




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