I'm sure the OP means well, but I think this approach is misguided. It comes across as self-centered rather than supportive. You might get a polite "thanks" in response, but I doubt it will be genuinely appreciated.
If you care about the person and want to talk with them, reach out and be genuine. If not, don't bother them with LLM corporate-speak masquerading as support. Let's be honest: they didn't "part ways" with the company--they were fired.
Right now, they're worried about paying their bills, not about making their former coworkers feel better.
If you really want to help, reach out to your network and see if anyone is hiring. I've successfully connected many laid-off former coworkers with new opportunities. I've even approached recruiters that I ignored saying, "I'm not available, but this person is looking, and they're excellent."
OP's blog post also rang false to me. It feels like it was written by someone who works in HR trying to promote a culture that inhibits real interactions, under the guise of being "a good human being."
Being a good human involves honesty and naming things that are extremely difficult to name when you're both employed at the same place. I've had so many honest and illuminating conversations with coworkers after one or both of us left a company or organization, conversations that deepened into real friendships instead of just being colleagues.
Absolutely keep in touch with people because connection is essential to the human existence. Don't "pretend" to offer connection if you aren't willing to nourish it. The pretense is just mean and does more harm than good.
Yeah. There's a sort of uncanny valley to this that's hard to explain but you know when you see it.
It's like, conversations naturally taper yes, sensitive topics are danced around yes, particularly with people you're not that close with, but there's a grey area people play with generously in genuine interactions, precisely because they actually care.
Conversely in some interactions where you're sort of made acutely aware you've gone 'off script' the moment it happens and you realise, oh, this was always just templated/transactional.
I just think it's generally bad advice to enter into such interactions knowingly, even if you have good intentions, because of this. It's quite likely to happen and it's just an overall negative experience.
It's kinda hard to write an example or template for a communication pattern that seems really personal and genuine. OP is describing a pattern and is explicit that it's both a) a good thing to do on an emotional and ethical level and b) that the industry is small and it's good to not burn bridges.
I think it's clear from context that you can make the actual message a lot more personal based on your relationship with that person, but it seems harsh to say 'this looks like an HR template' when the post is kinda explicitly trying to make a general point.
>Don’t trash your employer, nor respond if they do. If they start that, say “I’m sorry, I can imagine why you’d feel that way, but I can’t continue this conversation.”. Note I’ve never had someone do this.
Are you kidding? Treat someone like a human but the moment they express emotion, explicitly denounce the thread and hang up?
Yeah, not sure what the author was thinking there. Definitely not 'reaffirming of both your and their humanity'.
I mean, I get that it's supposed to be just a general pointer or something, but that phrase is word for word what an LLM would say when it's self censoring... Or something lifted out of an episode of Severance.
- “Hi <firstname>, sorry to hear what <company> did to you; that was a real dick move! I appreciated your efforts and wish you the best!”
- Offer to help, and follow-up.
- Only trash the employer if they deserve it, and have a conversation about why they're trash if the person is interested. If they start that, say “Yea, those guys are cunts. Especially your boss Ed. He's incompetent, and has been blocking you and the team ever since he got promoted. They should have promoted you or Stacie instead.”.
- Carry on the conversation if they're interested. A lot of colleagues don't stay in touch when people get fired. Stay in touch! You'll both be better off for it. Making friends is hard, and losing them is easy.
- Say things like “wish we could have kept you” or “you were such a great performer. I know why you were laid off, and was a dumb move on the company's part. I'm interviewing at other places now, and will leave as soon as I find a replacement; this is a sinking ship. Let me know once you find something - I'm interested too!”
To add to this, remember that YOUR CAREER can and will transcend layoffs, bad bosses, bad companies, etc. With few exceptions, the network you build with the good people you work with are a thousand times more valuable than your current role or predicament.
I've seen people get laid off or fired that, while not necessarily wishing 9/10 of them ill will, am satisfied/happy to varying levels that they are gone. These are people that are a combination of lazy, unintelligent, entitled, uncooperative, etc.
There have been people (~5 in my 25 year career) where I danced on their figurative grave.
There are some (mostly early in my career) where I as shocked, kept in some brief contact with them, but came to the conclusion that the company was right in their move.
There are some where I was immediately in contact with them, planning beers or whatever.
Then there are those that I have kept in touch with over my whole career and have essentially become close friends. We have our own private group chats, keep up to date on tech, people, opportunities, etc. PEOPLE LIKE THIS ARE WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD.
Companies are not people. They don't have feelings and they will terminate people, often indiscriminately, over short term and trivial things like a single bad quarter or because some VP needs to flex their MBA. They can act stupid and if other people point it out and don't get a response, that either means you look stupid for not being able to see it, or worse you look like a hack that's never worth being reached out to again. That also ignores the fact that when people are hurt or in shock, they lash out a bit. Terminating the conversation just means you don't care or can't handle any emotion...
The smart people you've worked with at bad companies are often the best to keep in touch with, and you won't know it unless you're willing to open up about "saying bad things" about the company - or the people above both of you.
This statement "...but I doubt it will be genuinely appreciated" implies not. Otherwise I'd expect you to have written "but when I was let go, I would not have genuinely appreciated this type of response".
I have been let go. I truly didn't understand what it was like until I went through it. It was crushing. Really crushing.
That experience doesn't make me a world-class expert, I get it. But I would have loved any acknowledgement of my humanity or appreciation of the worth I provided to my employer from co-workers on that day (or even a few days later).
I also want to acknowledge that people who are former colleagues have a variety of energy they can offer to those who are laid off. The folks who remain have more work on their plate, may wonder about the future of the company, and are generally frustrated or frightened too. I think people who remain should offer whatever consolation they have the ability to, based on their relationship with the folks who are let go.
For some, that might be (as mentioned in other comments) offering up their network and helping someone actively. For others, simply saying goodbye might be all they have energy and space for. I wanted to keep the advice as simple as possible so that folks don't have the excuse of saying to themselves "it's too much work, I have so much going on" and doing nothing, which is, in my experience, worse for the folks who are laid off.
Appreciate the feedback about the coldness and tone. Lots of good suggestions in the comments about how to phrase my advice better.
I had a few other comments below addressing things you brought up that I'll link so I don't repeat myself:
>If not, don't bother them with LLM corporate-speak masquerading as support. Let's be honest: they didn't "part ways" with the company--they were fired.
I can think of few more grotesquely slimy developments in the last century or so of human communications than the blandly saccharine corporate-speak that now prevails in government and business like an ever-spreading parasitic infection. It permeates nearly everything and is used as a shield by shitbag executives and grossly corrupt organizations to disguise their true nature and the many examples of mendacity that their activities really involve.
Now we also see it being applied by the actual people, real people, communicating informally with real other people inside these same organizations, even when they apparently mean well in their own brainwashed, dimwitted way.
If I ever had anyone write a goodbye message to me in which they described me getting my ass fired as "parting ways", i'd plainly tell them to shove such nonsense wording up their ass if they really give a shit about me, or about being human.
If you care about the person and want to talk with them, reach out and be genuine. If not, don't bother them with LLM corporate-speak masquerading as support. Let's be honest: they didn't "part ways" with the company--they were fired.
Right now, they're worried about paying their bills, not about making their former coworkers feel better.
If you really want to help, reach out to your network and see if anyone is hiring. I've successfully connected many laid-off former coworkers with new opportunities. I've even approached recruiters that I ignored saying, "I'm not available, but this person is looking, and they're excellent."