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This is honestly a naive take and probably comes from someone who is not a minority (I am) or someone who didn’t grow up in the south.

It reminds me of the vomit inducing DEI training I was forced to endure and the “allyship” BS when I did my stint at BigTech between 2020-2023.

There are deeply religious people who sincerely think from decades of growing up being indoctrinated in the church who believe that miscegenation is a sin and that by allowing “the gays” to get married that God will destroy the country.

I also lived in what was a famous “sundown town” until recently for eight years (yes this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WErjPmFulQ0). I didn’t live there myself until 2016. Where we lived is approximately a 10 minute drive from where that outdoor scene was shot. We had a house built in the burbs there. Even though I made by myself twice the household income on what has become the most affluent burb of Atlanta, my 6 foot 3 stepson who had grown up in the burbs of Atlanta all of his life still got questioned by a Karen when he was in the neighborhood pool because she didn’t think he belong there. Was I suppose to approach her and we sit down and have a coffee while introduce her to Black culture? It’s not my duty to be an ambassador to anyone.

Right now, 40% of the country is cheering Trump’s treatment of LGBT and especially trans and immigrants.

And even if someone who is a racist sees me - a successful “articulate”, Black person who happens to know how to code switch on demand, in their mind they probably see ne as “not like other Black people).

Don’t get me wrong, I always “assume positive intent” and I am not at all uncomfortable in spaces where most people think I should be uncomfortable.



It's not naive to choose to see the best parts of people and hope that they can change to be the best version of themselves. Not everyone will change, but some will. When we let our damage accumulate to the point that we stop believing that we do a disservice to ourselves most of all. It doesn't mean we should march into a pit of bears wearing a pineapple glaze, it means that we hope for the best and don't let it break our spirit if we're wrong.


My spirit isn’t “broken” those people - the ones who actively support the demonization of “other” are irrelevant to me unless they are in a position to bring me harm - mostly law enforcement these days.

I see people individually how they treat people and who they surround themselves with. Don’t tell me there are “good people” who support Liberty University or who don’t speak out in churches when the leadership supports politicians and policies that demonize others.

And even then, I’m fine with ministers who say they refuse to marry gay people or allow the ceremonies in their churches. That’s there right to have a backwards belief.


Out of curiosity, how do you think society should deal with such people?


At 51, that’s not my responsibility. We have seen that much of rural America have no desire to get out of their Fox News induced bubble.

It’s even worse than I thought it was before 2020. When Fox News called the election fairly in 2020 and any other time it veers slightly off the Trump bandwagon, even it is punished by the viewers.

It’s just like with religious people (subject change I’m not trying to imply all religious people are racist). I once read about a deeply religious lady who had 7 kids and 6 of them died during a tsunami and she said she was so grateful to God and how good he was for saving one.

You can’t change people’s deeply held beliefs. Sure you might be able to get people to see different about right vs left policy decisions or at least respect your viewpoint. But people’s value systems are about identity and community especially in the rural Bible Belt where their shared culture and since of belonging is based on the church and now the church has based its culture on populism.


I'm sure the 51 year olds in the population you're referring to don't consider themselves absolved of their responsibility (as they see it)

Maybe the fact that so many people are so willing to entirely wipe their hands of things and write off half the country as racist idiots is contributing more to the problem than churches.


You might find this organization will resonate with you: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Braver_Angels

> Braver Angels ... is a ... nonprofit dedicated to political depolarization. The organization runs workshops, debates, and other events where "red" (conservative) and "blue" (liberal) participants attempt to better understand one another's positions and discover their shared values.

> The organization states that it is the "largest, grassroots, bipartisan organization in America dedicated to reviving the communal spirit of American democracy." As noted by Cavendish, they say that their "method involves bringing politically diverse people together in small groups to listen empathetically to each others' perspectives."


How is it “my responsibility”? My “responsibility” starts and ends with my family. I will even go a step further and say it’s my responsibility to advocate for policies that lift people up and provide a social safety net. If I decide to volunteer my time to help others that’s my choice.

It’s definitely not my responsibility to put myself out there to change the hearts and minds of racists pricks. While it is my responsibility to assume the best in individuals and to treat people like people.


And I’m sure your insight about how much energy Black people spend on changing hearts and minds comes from your personal experience sitting around the dinner table with your family or when you’re having drinks with your friends?




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