> I should have accepted much earlier that it was over and just prepared for that inevitability rather than clawing and scratching for options right until the end.
No way. If you had done that you would have felt even worse for not trying everything you possibly could.
+1 to this, my mom died because of COVID in India 1 months after she left US after visiting me, and I still feel guilty that I didnt insist on getting her the vaccine before she left for India, and then at the time of her death India was locked down so no flights and I wasn't even next to her. It's been 4 years but every so often I think about this. I blame myself less now after some therapy, but If you didn't try all that you could you'd probably feel guilty like me.
No way. If you had done that you would have felt even worse for not trying everything you possibly could.