“I know you are afraid of walking through a crowd of people, but think of how many people do that every day. Think of all those times when you were 15 when you did it without any problem.”
E.g. your problem isn’t real, it’s all in your mind. Which of course it is, that’s kind of the point :)
No not really. Gaslighting has an intent to deceive someone to pull them away from reality. CBT starts with the assumption by both people that the patient is away from reality and gives them tools to bring them closer. Gaslighting is like trying to convince a healthy person they’re fat (and giving them an eating disorder in the process) while CBT is like giving a fat person practices to manage appetite.
I believe OP is trying to suggest that if you're well adjusted to the current world, you're the one who is deluded. And therefore, any method to change your perspective is forcing a delusion. Gas lighting.
The fat person in your metaphor is actually fit, surrounded by unhealthy skinny people who have been convinced they are fit.
From the outside, it's easy to dismiss an anxious individuals fears as nothing more than thoughts in their head that are (sometimes, but not always) completely removed from reality. But from the perspective of the anxious person whose sympathetic nervous system is causing elevated heart rates, shaky sweaty hands and feet, heart palpitations and chest pain, pressure headaches, and brain fog, the problem may seem a tad bit more serious than something that's "all in your mind".
Look, I understand what you're trying to say, but as someone who deals with all of the physical symptoms of anxiety listed above and has been told by loved ones countless times "your problem isn't real, so just don't stress about it", it doesn't help, and it's frankly infuriating to hear.
Agreed, and I think GP mostly agrees with you too, their phrasing was just confusing.
As a bipolar person I have come to semi-ironically embrace the "it's all in your mind" mindset, but with the understanding that literally EVERYTHING is in our minds, and there is no clean distinction between physical and mental symptoms. Mental and physical illness are one and the same, because our body feeds our brain and our brain runs our body.
Simple example: a stomachache involves your brain noticing and reacting to something going on in your stomach. Is it your brain's fault for telling you your stomach is upset, or your stomach's fault for having the conditions to be upset, or your brain's fault for leading your stomach to have the conditions to be upset, or your stomach's fault for altering your brai chemistry so that it has the conditions to lead your stomach to.... etc, you can understand how fuzzy it all is.
Yeah, sorry. My comment was meant to agree, but illustrate that to people without anxiety (or disinclined to trust the medical establishment) CBT might come across as little different from “it’s all in your head”.
I suffer from the same, and after CBT, it’s actually kind of worse to hear “it isn’t real, so don’t worry”, because I know it (on the balance of probability) isn’t real, but somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better.
EDIT: Sorry, I misunderstood your comment, I thought you were GGP saying that "it's all in your head" is better than CBT. Leaving my original response below.
Sure, but someone with crippling anxiety could easily counter your with any of these:
* I was assaulted when I was 17 so of course I could do things more easily when I was 15.
* I feel physical symptoms of anxiety when I am around others so it's not just in my mind.
* I am a fundamentally worse person than average and do not deserve to be around other people.
* I don't care about what others can do, I would rather die than walk through a crowd.
CBT tries to meet people where they are, acknowledge them, and then give them the tools to move in a healty direction. Kinda like this:
"I know you are afraid of walking through a crowd of people. I want you to imagine walking through the crowd, and tell me what you think and feel.
OK, so you feel physically ill, and you feel like there are bugs on your skin, and you imagine people around you are talking about you. Let's acknowledge that's how you feel.
Now, let's look at this logically. Do you accept that it's unlikely that anyone is actually talking about you? Can you touch your skin, confirm there are no bugs? And, finally, do you understand that your nausea, whilst real, is likely a physical symptom of anxiety following from the other two things, so if we work on the anxiety then the nausea will subside too?
Great. So we've acknowledged how you feel, and we've acknowledged that what you are feeling is driven by anxiety moreso than reality, and we agree that it's possible for you to overcome. It's OK if that doesn't immediately resolve your fear, but next time you are near a crowd, I want you to think about what we talked about before you decide to avoid the crowd."
This is proven to be more likely to help people. If your smug "IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD" solution worked, then plenty of kids with mental issues would have been magically cured when their parents said that exact phrase to them.
One’s beliefs and feelings won’t be rational but the overall functioning of your brain is mostly reasonable when you know enough about your self, your past, and your brain. The task of building a fulfilling life with the nervous system you actually have is not trivial but also not impossible.
Quite an accusation. Have you done CBT?