My decision making has largely been driven by looking at those older than me and asking myself if that’s the type of life I want to live. If the answer is yes, then I use those people as role models. So I think my optimization strategy has been on a longer time horizon than just what I want in my 20s or 30s.
This approach seems wise, and to an extent I've tried to follow it as well. "Learn from other people's mistakes" - for me this has always seemed natural, and in a sense I've been fortunate to have some good learning opportunities.
One complication is that we all follow different paths through life; those older people didn't get to where they are by going further down the same path you're on.
Did you ask those people whether they have the same desires in their old age as they did when they were younger?
EDIT: my question comes across as combative and snarky. I honestly hope your strategy works out. Just for me the life I now enjoy in my 40s is not one I ever thought I'd want and it was a rough fews years getting over that.
I didn't take it as snarky. I could write a long essay on how I've used the experiences of those older than me to make decisions, but I'll spare you the diatribe. One strategy, though, is to ask people about their experiences. Do you mind sharing what was rough about those years in your 40s?
I had strong convictions about the things I would be doing and achieving in my 40s. The responsibilities that I actually had in my life were in direct conflict with that though. Initially I tried to do it all and just felt like a failure on all fronts. It wasn't until I accepted that I had way less control in life than I imagined that I was able to let go of the things I thought I should be doing and instead embrace and enjoy the things I needed to be doing.
