Where I work it's fine.

They're stuff like standups or sprint planning for projects I'm not always actively contributing to. If I need to be there it's because I have a significant number of Jira issues assigned to me.

The other meetings I set to tentative are the huge (hundreds of attendees) quarterlies, monthlies, etc.

I don't usually do this for one-off meetings unless the organizer just optimistically added people from the org chart. In that case I will ask about it.

I'm not saying I won't attend, but just that I don't know if I can. It's an honest answer. All this time adds up.

Adding a bunch of unnecessary people to a meeting is worse.

> Putting tentative is the biggest asshole move you can do calendar-wise.

First of all, thats not a very nice way of putting things. Secondly your answer has little conversational value, you are not adding to the debate. Thirdly - that’s just like, your opinion, man.

Why? I often respond tentative to meetings, and don't want to come across as an asshole.

It's a way of you telling them you're not going to tell them if you'll attend or not.

I see it a bit differently, I see it as 'I have seen this invitation and know this call is happening, but I have other priorities at that time. I will attend if I can, but I don't think my participation is important enough to reschedule', and it gives the organiser an opportunity to say 'actually, we will need you on this call, can you suggest a time when you could definitely make it?'