They can deal with it. In middle school, I was called a faggot, relentlessly, for not owning a Jansport backpack. I am 100% serious. They'll find friends, I'm pretty sure of it.
But if they don't have social media, how will they see other kids calling them names for not owning the right backpack outside of school? Think of the harm to their socialization!
I was called plenty of unpleasant stuff, including that. I didn't find any friends and I left at sixteen because of it. I'm not so sure. At thirty, I'm still fairly socially isolated outside of work.
I flatly refuse any argument that assumes buying your kid a smartphone and allowing them on social media will solve their problems of social isolation. If a child is socially isolated from their peers, that is sad, and I personally do not know how to help them. But I still don't buy the argument that FB, Insta, TikTok, etc. are the solution because, what, their peers are on them?
Also, if some of these kids are being bullied, social media can exacerbate the problem. I allude to this in another comment where I speculate that if my mother had bought me the backpack, I think these kids would have still bullied me over something similar.
At least with schools there was the school day and trip there and home. After that you were probably alone and not constantly connected even on weekends.
hmm.. by the time i was a junior in high school i remember everyone just carried around a binder and a book for their next class or two.
i can't remember if it was because having a backpack became uncool, or the school mandated no backpacks because of columbine.
i do specifically remember trenchcoats were not allowed and one very likeable and somewhat popular kid had to give his up (that was sort of his "look").
If that is suffering than every child will always suffer, because an very normal part of childhood is someone finding a reason to bully someone else. It's part of developing understanding of social structures and your place in them, some kids will inevitably decide they must be at the top of the pecking order in their little personal hierarchy. You physically cannot prevent children from making up ways to pick on each other, there's like a doctor Seuss book about this for heaven's sake.
This isn't saying "stop trying to prevent bullying" but rather "if you are afraid of your child being bullied because they aren't on social media, them being on social media will not stop them from being bullied" and social media makes bullying worse because now it follows them around instead of possibly stopping at 3pm
Children suffer. Adults suffer. Everyone suffers. I'm left with choosing which suffering my daughter will incur more of, either suffering "isolation" in making it harder for her to find friends by disallowing her from using social media for some time, or suffering the body image and other mental health and emotional disorders that could come from too much social media use at an early age. To some extent, I would love to give her the choice between the two herself, but most parents are going to be protective about certain things and make decisions like these for their children.
Also, my point wasn't even that I suffered therefore she should as well. My point was that children will bully each other over the most capricious shit imaginable, including whether or not you have the right backpack. At the time, I wished my mom would have just bought me a Jansport backpack (she wouldn't because we were poor), and now I look back on it as silly (and I'd guess those same bullies would have found another reason to make fun of me, like not having Nike shoes).
Further, having a smartphone and Instagram or Tiktok account aren't magical antidotes to social isolation at a young age.
But yes, I overcame my own suffering fairly easily.
A key difference here is that Jansport backpacks don't come with the additional baggage of huge risks to mental and emotional health, self-esteem, and increased suicide risk. It's interesting that you are framing immersing children in externalities as the choice to avoid suffering.
