In my experience, the voices you read on Reddit are a special breed of high-anxiety thinkers. Especially in dating/relationship threads. I think a lot of people on there are bent out of shape from some experience, and that’s why they’re on Reddit talking about dating and relationships instead of doing them. I avoid using reddit posts as a gauge for anything about people in real life. Not saying go out and start hitting on women at the bus stop, but there’s nothing weird or socially unacceptable about talking to strangers if you don’t make it weird. Just ask a small question or make a comment about something in the environment. Don’t say “I couldn’t help but notice your beautiful eyes m’lady.” Band shirt, how do you cook that vegetable, whatever. If there’s tension, she’ll invite you to keep talking to her. If there’s not, move on.
It's just so easy to understand when you look at it logically. Talking to people (skillfully, which requires practice) will eventually lead to befriending some percent of those you talk to. Befriending people will lead to more opportunities to befriend others from a place of more trust. It's a simple networking process.
Eventually, some percent of the people you're meeting and befriending will be love interests. There will be mutual attraction, especially when you don't come across as desperate. Eventually some small percent of these mutual attractions will also be compatible partners under the right circumstances.
It's just a numbers game!
The problem is people design their conversion funnels all wrong. At the top of the funnel is conversations, then acquaintances, friends, mutual interests, compatible interests, partners.
At every stage there is a network/feedback effect leading to more input at the top of the funnel.
