500k?! Wait what? You should work on some gratitude. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or old folks home or church. Scientifically proven to brighten your outlook and I suspect get you some perspective. Quit thinking about yourself so much. Honestly I find your post a little whiney. My personal advice, and what worked for me more than once, is just say "yes" to most everything. It gives you the exposure you need stimulate your brain and get out of a funk. Oh, and if you're a phone/ fakebook/doomscroller type stop that like yesterday. You won the world being born lottery. Don't waste it.