"I'm going to prison, but I'd like to keep my internet"

Alexa, search for very small android phones suitable for the prison wallet.

Like the Jelly Pro? :)

I told AT&T I was moving out of the country. The very valiant retention specialist still offered a discount on text messages for a year.

That’s my go to for every cancellation, it’s better for the reps because they can log the reason as something unsalvageable.

what about moving to a cabin in the mountains, or actually just find a city where this ISP is not available?

Honestly, telling Comcast you've already switched to a new provider is the best way to cancel quickly.

> Me to retention person: Hi, I just switched to AT&T Fiber and I'm up and running, so I want to get rid of my Comcast internet.

> Rentention person: Is this the sort of sitation where you would move your Comcast internet to a new location?

> Me: No.

> Rentention person: Ohh, well in that case, I'll go ahead and cancel you're account. Ok done now.

Literally a 4 minute phone call including automated prompts.

Hopefully that bit of info doesn't get recorded into some system somewhere, and eventually make it out to other companies databases.

If it doesn't, trying to repair that damage could be an exercise in futility. :/

That seems really good advice. Next time I try to cancel my NYT subscription, I'll try that. I managed to do it entirely by email, but took 3 emails back and forth. Then in all the excitement of the 2020 US presidential election I subscribed again ... so the cycle will repeat.

P.S. there probably going to get a lot of people "going to prison" in the future so the scripts will include questions to out the fakers, who want to cancel without trouble.