> Then I worked for a tech giant, and then for a high-growth unicorn. It shocked me how dilbertesque they both were. Full of politicians, and burnt out engineers in golden handcuffs who can't wait to get out, and meaningless business speak, and checked out employees who pretend they're "excited" about everything all the time.
I left my big city office job to work remotely (after a 2.5 year "sabbatical" traveling the world) precisely because I couldn't stand that sh anymore. Remote work isn't a panacea and does have its cons, but no way in hell I'd trade it back for any office job.
In terms of finding one's "spark", I can relate. I used to be pretty starry-eyed too, majoring in math (because I enjoyed it, not for job opportunities or money), and working on a bunch of different kinds of projects for fun. As I've gotten older and had to succumb to the working world, I've also gotten more and more disillusioned over the years. I've felt my creativity and passion diminish.
I'd say part of it is from getting older, part of it is just a byproduct of our capitalist system that forces everyone to rent themselves out for money to rich people who want to make more money and become cogs in the "dilbertesque" machine exactly as you described. As bad as it is, it wouldn't be half as bad in my opinion if we could at least talk about it honestly, but sadly this can get you fired.
I don't have the solution, but I'd say to start by being less hard on yourself because most of those burnt out engineers are in the same position as you, they just didn't have the conviction or courage to follow through and leave. Accept that one's job is purely impersonal and just for money and co-workers are just business relationships, and don't expect more than that or you'll inevitably bound for disappointment.
Clarify what your goals are. Do you want to make money? Improve society? Work on intellectually challenging problems? Be happy? Those are all very different goals with different solutions.
And thanks for writing this post. The enormous reception is proof that you're not alone here, that a lot more of us feel the same way as you than you think. It's a sad reflection of our system, but short of a revolution all we can do is do the best we can. FIRE (financial independence) is the only true freedom of time.
I left my big city office job to work remotely (after a 2.5 year "sabbatical" traveling the world) precisely because I couldn't stand that sh anymore. Remote work isn't a panacea and does have its cons, but no way in hell I'd trade it back for any office job.
In terms of finding one's "spark", I can relate. I used to be pretty starry-eyed too, majoring in math (because I enjoyed it, not for job opportunities or money), and working on a bunch of different kinds of projects for fun. As I've gotten older and had to succumb to the working world, I've also gotten more and more disillusioned over the years. I've felt my creativity and passion diminish.
I'd say part of it is from getting older, part of it is just a byproduct of our capitalist system that forces everyone to rent themselves out for money to rich people who want to make more money and become cogs in the "dilbertesque" machine exactly as you described. As bad as it is, it wouldn't be half as bad in my opinion if we could at least talk about it honestly, but sadly this can get you fired.
I don't have the solution, but I'd say to start by being less hard on yourself because most of those burnt out engineers are in the same position as you, they just didn't have the conviction or courage to follow through and leave. Accept that one's job is purely impersonal and just for money and co-workers are just business relationships, and don't expect more than that or you'll inevitably bound for disappointment.
Clarify what your goals are. Do you want to make money? Improve society? Work on intellectually challenging problems? Be happy? Those are all very different goals with different solutions.
And thanks for writing this post. The enormous reception is proof that you're not alone here, that a lot more of us feel the same way as you than you think. It's a sad reflection of our system, but short of a revolution all we can do is do the best we can. FIRE (financial independence) is the only true freedom of time.