Many here will attempt to give you a justification or rationale to your predicament. It's the way of coping with problems that technology teaches you (when a problem reveals itself, find a solution). Sometimes this is the right way to approach it. If you know the end you are seeking, finding a means towards it works. But if you are trying to determine the end, unthinkingly continuing down the same means is not going to satisfy your unease. This sort of thinking is something I dwell in quite a lot. I'm happy to be a sounding-board for you if you want.