Other replies have hinted at why this may be the case: ADHD, told you were going to excel/smart causing non-effort/try, failure adverse.
For me it was all of those and probably more that I'm not even aware of yet.
What did I do to over come?
First, I haven't fully. I struggle every day, and know that it is okay. Even after I decided to tackle the problem 10 years ago, I work at it.
For myself, I knew a key symptom that I had is I don't like to finish anything... like anything... no matter how small. A lot of it was rooted in my fear of failing. That's probably linked to the idea that I was supposed to be smart. I'm an engineer, good at math, all the classic things that cause parents to say - oh child shouldn't fail.
This showed up in my every day life. I realized I would never even finish my rice... there's always like 20% left. I was always starting a project and then simply moving on to the next. Never taking it to a specific end-goal.
So to tackle my problem of not finishing something, I started with the smallest thing - my bowl of rice. I started requiring myself to finish it. That last 20% was a struggle. I'd sit there and struggle. It wasn't the amount either; I would get less food, which did help, but I still had a lot of trouble. I'd get up and leave then force myself to go back.
I didn't allow any other requirement to enter. No other projects, no other personal goals. I had to finish my bowl. It was, one meal then one day, backslide, two days in a row, and it took me about 3-4 months for it to become a habit. I let it be the goal for another month or so before I finally told myself I accomplished this goal.
For once in my life, I finished something. I set a goal and completed it. F'ing bowl of rice. But it was mine.
From there I scaled it to a very small Rails project I could complete in 1 weekend, an online language dictionary for myself. It was stupid easy so I knew I could do it. My goal was to deploy it on Heroku and use it myself for some small language learning. Took me 3-4 weekends to fully deploy & self-use. But I did it, my first side project completed. A clear goal, achievable and finished.
It took me 6-12 months to even begin to feel I started tackling my problem. From there I slowly scaled and I've personally learned I can only do 1-2 things at a time to completion.
Best of luck to you. I only hope the best for you.
For me it was all of those and probably more that I'm not even aware of yet.
What did I do to over come?
First, I haven't fully. I struggle every day, and know that it is okay. Even after I decided to tackle the problem 10 years ago, I work at it.
For myself, I knew a key symptom that I had is I don't like to finish anything... like anything... no matter how small. A lot of it was rooted in my fear of failing. That's probably linked to the idea that I was supposed to be smart. I'm an engineer, good at math, all the classic things that cause parents to say - oh child shouldn't fail.
This showed up in my every day life. I realized I would never even finish my rice... there's always like 20% left. I was always starting a project and then simply moving on to the next. Never taking it to a specific end-goal.
So to tackle my problem of not finishing something, I started with the smallest thing - my bowl of rice. I started requiring myself to finish it. That last 20% was a struggle. I'd sit there and struggle. It wasn't the amount either; I would get less food, which did help, but I still had a lot of trouble. I'd get up and leave then force myself to go back.
I didn't allow any other requirement to enter. No other projects, no other personal goals. I had to finish my bowl. It was, one meal then one day, backslide, two days in a row, and it took me about 3-4 months for it to become a habit. I let it be the goal for another month or so before I finally told myself I accomplished this goal.
For once in my life, I finished something. I set a goal and completed it. F'ing bowl of rice. But it was mine.
From there I scaled it to a very small Rails project I could complete in 1 weekend, an online language dictionary for myself. It was stupid easy so I knew I could do it. My goal was to deploy it on Heroku and use it myself for some small language learning. Took me 3-4 weekends to fully deploy & self-use. But I did it, my first side project completed. A clear goal, achievable and finished.
It took me 6-12 months to even begin to feel I started tackling my problem. From there I slowly scaled and I've personally learned I can only do 1-2 things at a time to completion.
Best of luck to you. I only hope the best for you.