> Try not to posite a solution. Listen, don’t speak over them.
I got that, I can do that with conscious effort.
> often by mirroring language, tone, words, body language etc.
I can avoid using my words for things instead of theirs, especially minimizing ones like “hassle” or “inconvenience”, I can avoid closed-off body language like crossing my arms and maybe keep my voice in a different register for a little while but beyond that it come off as an attempt at mimicking, not helpful.
> Guide, ask questions that indicate that you’re open to hearing more about their issues, sometimes worth a “It’s ok if you don’t want to say but, what happened...”
Thank them for sharing with you.
That sounds like an example for someone you don’t actually know very well.
My two cents is to practice what was described in the post above, and then do a personal postmortem analysis after-the-fact of how you did.
Also to try and adopt an observational, almost anthropological attitude when interacting with other people. Observe their behavior, observe how it makes you feel, what your body language is, and then observe their responses to your own words and changes in behavior / body language.
Like any skill it takes practice. And just because a skill comes harder to some than others doesn’t mean it can’t be meaningfully improves through practice.
> That sounds like an example for someone you don’t actually know very well.
Not if the reason is you or something you are related too / feel strongly about.
Sometimes people aren’t ready / comfortable to talk about things, even when you’ve been in a relationship for years. Giving them permission to avoid it avoids a point of contention whih could lead to yours and their frustration.
I got that, I can do that with conscious effort.
> often by mirroring language, tone, words, body language etc.
I can avoid using my words for things instead of theirs, especially minimizing ones like “hassle” or “inconvenience”, I can avoid closed-off body language like crossing my arms and maybe keep my voice in a different register for a little while but beyond that it come off as an attempt at mimicking, not helpful.
> Guide, ask questions that indicate that you’re open to hearing more about their issues, sometimes worth a “It’s ok if you don’t want to say but, what happened...” Thank them for sharing with you.
That sounds like an example for someone you don’t actually know very well.
> Done.
Until tomorrow.