It's always worked for me. Kids are used to being dominated and condescended. If you talk to them as respected individuals, you usually get respect back. It also gives more weight to the times you have to be more assertive.
The other helpful thing is to let them be right. Make mistakes on purpose and let them correct you. They're so hungry to be right that it gives a real confident boost.
It should go without saying that this strategy should be used only when it's reasonable, not in cases of safety or when keeping kids from wrecking havoc etc.
> [Subordinates] are used to being dominated and condescended. If you talk to them as respected individuals, you usually get respect back. It also gives more weight to the times you have to be more assertive.
This is actually pretty good advice for any time you're trying to manage people -- and kids are just little people.
One point of view I find helpful is the reverse, that people are just really old kids. It makes it easier to, within limits, accept and forgive irrational behavior (including my own!) while keeping a positive, growth-oriented mindset.
The Coding Horror blog has a great piece on how the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk helped him out with a lot more than just his kids.
Yes and because children are people rather than intellectual abstractions they need authority (not domineering but authority backed up by force nonetheless). A developing mind is like a nation, with many strands. I live in a relatively peaceful and advanced country but I know that if the police had their weapons and handcuffs taken away tomorrow then evil strands would quickly rise up and destroy everything.
The other helpful thing is to let them be right. Make mistakes on purpose and let them correct you. They're so hungry to be right that it gives a real confident boost.
It should go without saying that this strategy should be used only when it's reasonable, not in cases of safety or when keeping kids from wrecking havoc etc.