A good way to answer this question is to ask the women in your life. It never fails to surprise me the number and variety of stories every one of my female friends/family/co-workers have.
Just last week one of my friends was telling a story about a guy in a car slowly following and harassing her on her way home. That kicked off a round of 'being scared by guys in cars' stories from others at the table.
I somewhat understand the 'not all guys' sentiment because this behaviour also feels very alien to me. I think it is worth taking the time to understand that it definitely is 'a not insignificant number of guys' though
I've started to think of the "True Crime" genre as "Male Horror." Most of its audience is female, and the stories are largely about normal women who walk into normal situations and end up tortured, raped, and murdered; extra points if it was by a man no one would suspect. There's also Male Horror directed at an audience of men, but it's usually disguised as a prison story, or even more directly class-coded like Deliverance.
There's just this male sort of terror where a man doesn't want to hurt you for any practical reason, they're not trying to steal from you or stop you, they're doing it simply because physically torturing you directly arouses them. Men only feel that terror and that fear in prison, boarding school, the military, sports teams, surrounded by ethnic minorities or ethnic majorities, etc., whereas women simply need to evaluate every place that they enter that also contains a man, even if they know that man very well.
Yes, this is true and a sad fact of life - but let us not forget the majority of stranger-assault victims are men and - generally speaking - these (righteous) discussions about individual safety are rarely extended to them.
It's more important to remember that the perpetrators are almost all men, whether the violence is from a stranger or someone well known, or whether the victims are male, female, or even one's self - suicide is far higher and more effective among men.
I don't see how that is more important to remember in the context of victims being discussed here. Male representation is not even acknowledged as an issue.
This resonates a lot with me. In my case I think the lack of a relationship for a few years exacerbates everything else. A lot of suggestions from small (go for walks) to big (do some travelling) just make me a little sad that I would be doing those things alone.
I always find it particularly funny when someone says "oh, I totally get feeling lonely. Just the other day I was telling my wife that I was..."
Im in that boat too, but I also look at it as a choice Ive made through the years, Ive always valued being independent and having my own space over basically everything else... And Ive grown into this person, for example, Im good professionally, I skateboard, Im a bit of a nights and parties and bars and travelling person, Im heavily tattooed etc. But then with covid and time passing then the "oh shit this being all by myself and all for myself thing, I think Im over it", then its something that starts hitting you with bigger frequency etc.
So anyway, my conclusion is that yeah Im maybe a bit deep into this, but the most important thing is that I now want to chose a different thing and Ive just got to work on realizing this new objetive just as I done before. This 'Im now old and lonely' thing is though, but the hardest part of it I think is just that we end up ruminating that shit and thinking our choices have completely defined us already and we are done. And when we were younger as the thought went over us wed actually think that was the whole fun, having that youthful outlook like "oh I have all this freedom and time to do what I want with my life, how exciting!", we still have so much freedom and time to choose.
Honestly I think as we get into the mid thirties there's probably some stuff that change in our minds, how we perceive time, past, future, etc, and this anxieties start creeping up more, I guess that's part of life. Most definitely, though, being thrown around and being cornered by fear, by your own thoughts, thats not the way to live, I'm sure. To me its no wonder most of all antique philosophy/religion, if you look into it, focus exactly on that, dealing with human existential anxiety.
This got a bit long but I decided to take my social and affective life into my own hands more, and Ill be getting a dog this year too hahah
> Chances are it depends on both who you ask and the
problem at hand.
100% this. Code runs on people but people differ dramatically. A more compact solution that leans on some more advanced language features might be totally acceptable in a team of people fluent with the language. The same problem in a team of generalists working across different tech stacks day-to-day might benefit from a more verbose solution.
As with most things in software it depends on context.
This is a place that starts the day by sounding a gong so they at least wear the cult-y-ness on their sleeve.
I think this is one of those things that is going to work for some and not work for others.
I quit very quickly after being subcontracted into Pivotal. I need quiet focussed periods of inner monologue to turn over problems. I can't talk and think.
Other people think by talking. I suppose artificially limiting the types of people who work for you is a choice of some kind
A good way to answer this question is to ask the women in your life. It never fails to surprise me the number and variety of stories every one of my female friends/family/co-workers have.
Just last week one of my friends was telling a story about a guy in a car slowly following and harassing her on her way home. That kicked off a round of 'being scared by guys in cars' stories from others at the table.
I somewhat understand the 'not all guys' sentiment because this behaviour also feels very alien to me. I think it is worth taking the time to understand that it definitely is 'a not insignificant number of guys' though