I think I might have ADD, but since I'm a straight A student, socially well adjusted and not hyperactive I can not get any healthcare professional to take my problems seriously.
I cannot do things in time. Not even things that should be rewarding and fun. I cannot start tasks until it's too late, or in the rare event I start I cannot focus long enough on them to make a difference. I cannot really explain why. I know I should just do them, but there's some mental block that I cannot overcome. It has always been this way. None of the strategies I've tried ever made a difference. I always have a to-do list of a hundred small and big things I should have done two weeks ago that stresses me out. I also always lose things.
It's not unusual that I end up crying alone due to stress over all the things I should have done and feeling stupid for putting myself in the same spot again.
I manage to get good grades simply due to the expected workload being much less than my capability and being a good test-taker. At the final weeks before an exam the urgency of the situation allows me to absorb whole courses in a single week and get an A on the exam. But had I just worked 2 hours a day during the whole semester instead I could have saved myself all the stress and the depression and been a lot happier. And even though I know this, I will invariably do the same thing next semester.
I've tried getting help and a diagnosis, but the doctors will dismiss me after a single look at my grades. All they see is a student with great grades (and therefore not in need of help) looking to scam them out of some study drugs.
I get by, and manage to never get in any huge trouble despite my shortcomings. The big problem, except my mental health, is how it negatively impacts my relationships. I have a heard time prioritizing my girlfriend when I'm always stressed and always have a hundred things I should do, which is a reoccurring problem in our relationship. And making time for my friends is even harder.
I have cut out most nonessential responsibilities from by life just to reduce the stress a little. But I have no idea how I will manage big responsibilities like having children in the future without burning out.
I have given up any hope of getting a diagnosis. But I'm worried about the future, and I don't know what to do.
There's probably no help to get here, of course. I just wanted to get if off my chest.
Suggest best is to talk to a psychiatrist. If you think it is adhd then see if you can find a specialist and try make a booking. It costs but you'll get help quicker than trying to talk to a GP.
Don't trust a stranger on the internet, but that was me until a few months ago.
Until recently, my life has been a slow descent into an abyss of despair. Then I got diagnosed and since I've started medication, for the first time in my life I am actually proud of myself. Proud of all my talents and place in the world. There actually is hope and excitement for the future.
Here's my suggestion: do everything possible to talk with a psychiatrist. Get diagnosed. It might be something else, but if it's ADHD you'll be happy to learn that treatment is _very_ effective and often life changing. This is not hyperbole.
i was diagnosed when i was 8 or 9, took meds til i was 15 and then not again until recently. i got mostly As and Bs in school, medicated or not. when i wasn't medicated i did get some Cs and no credit at uni when i struggled with courses i didn't put time into.
i graduated with a decent grade point, like a B+ or A-, and i got straight As in my masters degree. i got jobs all over the world and am pretty smart to not have huge issues with work or anything like that. i still have issues socially, doing work, doing work i'm good at, and all that. even if i manage to mostly get good grades.
and i went to a psych and explained my issues, and i got meds for it. just because you get good grades doesn't mean you don't have ADHD, you just found ways to cope. life isn't just getting good grades and you're fine and don't have ADHD, if that were so then a lot of people wouldn't have any issue.
I cannot do things in time. Not even things that should be rewarding and fun. I cannot start tasks until it's too late, or in the rare event I start I cannot focus long enough on them to make a difference. I cannot really explain why. I know I should just do them, but there's some mental block that I cannot overcome. It has always been this way. None of the strategies I've tried ever made a difference. I always have a to-do list of a hundred small and big things I should have done two weeks ago that stresses me out. I also always lose things.
It's not unusual that I end up crying alone due to stress over all the things I should have done and feeling stupid for putting myself in the same spot again.
I manage to get good grades simply due to the expected workload being much less than my capability and being a good test-taker. At the final weeks before an exam the urgency of the situation allows me to absorb whole courses in a single week and get an A on the exam. But had I just worked 2 hours a day during the whole semester instead I could have saved myself all the stress and the depression and been a lot happier. And even though I know this, I will invariably do the same thing next semester.
I've tried getting help and a diagnosis, but the doctors will dismiss me after a single look at my grades. All they see is a student with great grades (and therefore not in need of help) looking to scam them out of some study drugs.
I get by, and manage to never get in any huge trouble despite my shortcomings. The big problem, except my mental health, is how it negatively impacts my relationships. I have a heard time prioritizing my girlfriend when I'm always stressed and always have a hundred things I should do, which is a reoccurring problem in our relationship. And making time for my friends is even harder.
I have cut out most nonessential responsibilities from by life just to reduce the stress a little. But I have no idea how I will manage big responsibilities like having children in the future without burning out.
I have given up any hope of getting a diagnosis. But I'm worried about the future, and I don't know what to do.
There's probably no help to get here, of course. I just wanted to get if off my chest.