I'm deeply disappointed that this isn't the strict bylaws, policy, and procedure documents for SPECTRE and its affiliates and controlled entities. I wanted to read the Henchman Code of Conduct, Infiltration Response and Prevention Procedure, and Workplace Health and Safety Guidelines for a shadowy, criminal org.
38) If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
This one makes no sense, surely evil overlords are invulnerable during the battle charge.
45) I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
This one is hilarious I didn't understand the direction until the last word.
The International Brotherhood of Henchsters union will negotiate better henching health and safety policies on behalf of all goons, thugs, hired thugs, minions, and of course henchpeople.
We all know that henching is an inherently risky job. Fighting some of the world's most tuxedo clad Scottish sociopaths is often dangerous, but that doesn't mean we can't reduce unnecessary risks.
Risks that cause lost productivity on your Doomstar project through avoidable injuries, recruitment delays, and the difficulty of removing tangled bodies from the drill you're using to get to the Earth's core.
We demand:
1. Adequate hand-rails on ledges, bridges, and _especially_ around piranha tanks, snake pits, etc.
2. Murder as a punishment for failing your boss "for the last time" now requires two written warnings beforehand.
3. Volcano bases must have adequate fire and lava escapes.
Check out Marvel's MODOK show. It explores the banalities like this that arise when a corporation buys out your evil lab, and how poorly a Narcissistic supervillain handles being subjugated by a power greater than himself.
