Hello, I can relate to that a lot. I don't usually comment on HN, but I'll give it a go on this one.
Also grew up on a high pressure environment, as in: "If you fight at school and lose, you'll get a second beating at home"
- If you can afford, seek professional help. Yeah, a therapist. It will help you to learn how you operate.
- Accountability mirror, from "Can't hurt me" book. Some of stuff in the book is meathead advice, but you're a smart guy, you'll be able to filter it out and adapt. The audiobook is great. Look it up.
- 3sec rule: If you want to do something, don't give yourself time to come up with an excuse not to, because you will convince yourself.
- Commit: Publicly say you'll do it, to the point you'll lose face if you don't. There you go, not doing the thing will hurt more than doing it and then you can trick yourself into not procrastinating.
For instance, I was offered a lead role many times, but refused. Until a day I said: "Fuck it, I'll take it". No time to convince myself otherwise. Now, If I back off or do a poor job, I'll lose face.
And it turns out, once you start doing those apparently big things, you learn they are not really a big deal. Then you start feeling more confident.
Also grew up on a high pressure environment, as in: "If you fight at school and lose, you'll get a second beating at home"
- If you can afford, seek professional help. Yeah, a therapist. It will help you to learn how you operate.
- Accountability mirror, from "Can't hurt me" book. Some of stuff in the book is meathead advice, but you're a smart guy, you'll be able to filter it out and adapt. The audiobook is great. Look it up.
- 3sec rule: If you want to do something, don't give yourself time to come up with an excuse not to, because you will convince yourself.
- Commit: Publicly say you'll do it, to the point you'll lose face if you don't. There you go, not doing the thing will hurt more than doing it and then you can trick yourself into not procrastinating.
For instance, I was offered a lead role many times, but refused. Until a day I said: "Fuck it, I'll take it". No time to convince myself otherwise. Now, If I back off or do a poor job, I'll lose face. And it turns out, once you start doing those apparently big things, you learn they are not really a big deal. Then you start feeling more confident.
Finally, be kind to yourself.
Cheers